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“I know,” he smiled, running his hands down the sides of the silky fabric. “But you want to know something?” “What?” I asked him, looking back up and locking eyes with him. “She never once wore it,” he informed me. For a moment, my heart sank. I had tried so hard to be this person for my daddy and I had failed. I had not even worn an outfit of hers. “But that is good,” he added. “Your mom never really liked any of that stuff. When I bought that for her, she just kind of rolled her eyes at me.” “Why didn’t she like it?” I asked him. “She just didn’t like wearing sexy things or doing anything sexual at all for that matter,” he informed me. “I loved your mother so much and I miss her just as much, but she was not this. She was not you.” “I am sorry,” I cried, tears beginning to fall down my cheeks. “I thought I was giving you what you wanted.” “You are,” he smiled, holding my head up and kissing away my tears. “I don’t want you to be your mother. I want you to be you, because. When I paused, she nodded, as if to ask me to go on. When the whole story was finished, I sat back and we regarded each other in silence. ‘I didn’t know,’ she said finally. ‘You told me about how you recovered from your divorce through prayer and reading and meditation, but I had no idea that it was really me you were recovering from. I’m so sorry. I really didn’t know.’ ‘Of course you didn’t. I didn’t tell you. Would it have made a difference if I did?’ ‘Maybe. It was so long ago. I don’t know. I remember telling you that I didn’t want to be your lover. I do remember that. I remember your reaction. I recall that you didn’t seem too upset over it. I thought it was acceptance, just the usual disappointment of a man who realized that he wasn’t going to get into my pants after all. Now I realize that it was shock that made you so quiet about it. Believe me, I didn’t know how hard the blow was to you.’ ‘I wanted to protect you, Lynette. Remember those times you sat in my lap, in that.
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